well its been three days since i realised my wallet is missing. my wallet which has my drivers license, two debit cards, my medical insurance card, and my social security card in it, and i have had no luck in finding it. i checked the theater, i literally crawled on the floor to look under the seats, and its nowhere.
and then a very small dose of happiness came to me when the before the movie stuff was playing and there was a marvel: agents of shield commercial, and hearing coulson say ‘welcome to level seven’ made me happy.
but then i realised i still don’t have my wallet and i want to just curl up and cry and not do anything because everything i need in order to just…do my day to day life is in that wallet. i can’t fill up my mom’s car with gas after using it because that involves my debit card, i can’t even go to the dmv to get a new drivers license because that involves needing my debit card to pay for the new license. so, basically, i’m shit out of luck.
oh. and i still have my ten page research paper to write.
I like to cook. I’m not amazing at the task, but I enjoy it. Unfortunately, I’m clumsy as all hell, and tend to hurt myself regardless of what I’m doing. I just hope this doesn’t need stitches.
As if you have to ask. You can come back, buddy. I’ve missed my assistant. You—You remember? You remember the baby?? That’s fucking great, Aleks! You’re starting to remember! That’s great news. Wait til I tell Lux. She’s gonna be happy to know that you’re gonna remember things. Heh—it’s going smooth, then. What else has been popping up in that head of yours?
I’m glad you’re so excite for me. Everyone seems to been excited when I tell them that I remember things. Well, not all of it has been good, if I’m being honest. A lot of what’s been coming back to me has been…awful, actually. Like, I remember how I acted when Evie got hurt, I remember getting shot at, and grazed by a bullet. I… I remember what I did to Matthew. Most of what’s been coming back has just…been awful. Except for the baby thing, and remember who Evie is, and where you and I stand in our relationship.
You’re out of the hospital… You look… You look very good, Aleksandr. I’m sorry I didn’t keep contact while I was away. I was wondering how you were doing after your accident. I’m glad you look… sort of well. Hm… Sort of. I won’t push into it. Not now, at least. Care to share a chat with me?
I am. I’m better than I’ve been recently. A lot better, actually. Its okay. I honestly couldn’t remember much about you after it happened. I mean, I knew your face, and the situation we were in, but I didn’t know why or how. But over this last week I’ve been remembering things. I’d love to have a chat with you. What’s on your mind?
Hey, buddy.. You’re looking good. I’m glad to see you’re smiling. You know—you still have a place at the office with me. I miss my assistant. I’m back and you need to come by the penthouse so you can help me out with the baby’s room. I need help with some things and I can’t put a crib together to save my life. Apparently I can build guns and shit but not that…
I’d like to come back, if that’s okay? I need to keep myself busy. All the sitting around I’ve been doing has made me rather anxious. The baby! I remembered that the other day. One of the few good things I’ve remembered. I’d be more than happy to help you with anything you need.
I think I’m accident prone. Something like it. I hit a wall, I fell down the stairs and I hit my head on the ceiling of my car. If Lux saw me now, she would laugh at me. That’s amazing; I really fucked myself up in a matter of what, two hours? That’s a new record. Well… Somewhat new record. I got myself a pretty new room for the baby and I’m still a nervous wreck. Spain is nice though… I kind of like the idea of living there. Odd. But that’s just a passing thought. London isn’t rid of my ass yet. Never will be until I die.
It seems we both need some lessons in how to keep ourselves safe from the everyday things of life. Its good to see you, though. I was starting to wonder if you’d ever come back, if I’m being honest. I think I started to miss you. I’ve also started to remember some things. They aren’t exactly good things, but still I’m remembering, and that’s good, right?
I am now an official Target employee, complete with an employee number and the discount that comes along with it! I even got paid for the orientation I did today :) And my first day of training is tomorrow. I am going to get to the drafts I have for my TMH accounts and then I’m gonna stay logged in as Aleksandr, and hop on one of my indie ones.
People lash out at people sometimes, even those they love. We all have our ways of mishandling things, god knows I am not always perfect with the way I react to things. It’s in the past, Aleks. I know it feels like it’s the present because you’re relieving it as you remember, but you and I…we moved past that. We were well on the way to being okay again, and that’s all I want for us, okay? Because you’re important to me.
Oh…I didn’t…god he mentioned to me that he’d ran into you and I should have called you right then and there and made sure you were okay. I so wish you would have let him bring you to me. I’m no doctor but I would have taken you to one as soon as I could.
But I… I mean, there you were, in an eerily similar position that I was in and I was selfish. I was arrogant, and I was angry for the completely wrong reasons. It was just ‘me me me’ and I… I can’t believe I’d do that. I knew that things were changing for me before then, I wasn’t feeling like myself, but I never thought I’d do something like that.
Its okay. I was pretty adamant on just getting home to my bed. Even with me Meg, who wanted to drag me to the hospital. I told her I’d be fine. I think part of me didn’t want to be okay for some reason… It doesn’t make sense. I mean, things have been a little rough, but they’ve also been good, better than before.